


In Love

by 3rdwheelawkward



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, Love, One Shot, US Women's Soccer National Team
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:07:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24045646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3rdwheelawkward/pseuds/3rdwheelawkward
Summary: Ashlyn knew she loved her from the beginning. But, she always felt that she never had a chance. Will she ever take the risk in telling her how she feels?
Relationships: Ashlyn Harris/Ali Krieger
Comments: 8
Kudos: 87





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this one shot saved in my drafts. It was pretty cute so I'd thought I'd share it with you.

Too many times you are always stuck in your head. You’re scared and you know it. It’s a constant battle between taking that step or just being content with how things are now. You know you can’t lose her but it slowly kills you. She has literally stolen your heart. You didn’t even expect it. A thief in the night. You knew she was beautiful and you knew you had a crush on her when you first met her. But when you soon found out she was straight and had a boyfriend and I may add, a long term one, you settled for just being her friend because she’s so amazing. And when they broke up, you have already gave up on dating her so, you were content in being her best friend. You guys were inseparable and you both dated other people. You knew yours would never last because you only dated people to distract you but, it was so hard. She left the country but that didn’t really end your friendship. It was possibly the best thing that ever happened to you.

Not seeing her and not talking to her as much has really helped your “condition” as you put it. Every time you think you’re getting better you see her face pop up on your phone screen and you know it never really went away. It laid dormant in your mind and you feel that all too familiar flutter in your stomach again. You know she’s your best friend. You know nothing will ever transpire, so you choose to live in your head. You know you need to stop torturing yourself with hypotheticals and what ifs but it’s what keeps you going.

You’ve had many ups and downs, half of which can be explained because you let a piece of your secret show. You would like to say it’s a secret but like everyone who knows you, knows it except for her. At least you hope so. Because if she knows than that means you really never have a chance. It’s stupid you think you have a shot because you’ve never risked it. And to you, having that sliver of “hope” is what you cling to. 

When you got cut from the WWC 2011 roster you were devastated but, you were also very proud because she made it and you were excited that she has a chance to win a world cup in the country she made home for so many years. That’s when you really fully understood how much you loved her. You knew you were doomed when you cried that night you got the news when the roster released. Because they weren’t sad tears you were overcome with happiness for her. And they always say real love is when you put someone else's happiness in front of yours.

It was then that you vowed that you would never loose her. That you would stand by her through life. Because maybe you thought that if she couldn’t love you the way you loved her that you would be happy to make her happy in any way you could. When they lost the world cup she was devastated. She became a shell of the women you grew to love. You tried everything but nothing seemed to work. It was killing you and it was the only time you ever shown the part of your heart that you took so much effort in hiding.

There was so much tension between you two lately. You didn’t know what to do anymore. So you called the one person you who might know what to do. You dialed the number and waited for the other end to pick up. And when he does you aren’t even sure what to say.

“Ash? What’s up babe?” Kyle asks a little groggily and you only now realize what time it is. It’s 2am and you contemplate just hanging up to let him sleep but you’re torn.

“I’m sorry Kyle I know it’s late but I can’t sleep lately and I don’t who else to talk to.” You don’t ever want to come out and say it because you know he’ll know. And you haven’t told Kyle that you’re in love with his sister because he’s too close to Ali.

“Well… I’m a bit surprised because you usually talk to Alex. So that means either one you are in a fight or you can’t talk to her about this. And since she’s your best friend it makes it hard to believe its the second option. But she would have told me if you two were fighting so it’s not that…” Kyle was rambling and you can hear him becoming more away as he starts theorizing. You know he’s about to figure it out so you interrupt him.

“Kyle I don’t know what to do anymore.” The silence on the other line let’s you know he asking for you to continue. “I don’t know what to do with anything anymore. I’ve tried everything I can to try to bring her back to herself. I’ve tried giving her space and I’ve tried everything. But she’s not even Alex anymore.” You can literally hear the gears in his head turning. “I’m in love with you’re sister and I don’t know what to do anymore.” And the cat is out of the bag now.

“Oh Ash. I’m so sorry. But I don’t know if my sister you know feels the same or what but I think you really have to talk to her” You’re full out crying now. This isn’t how you wanted this to go. Honestly you don’t know why you thought it would go any differently. “She is your best friend Ash you should really tell her.”

“I can’t loose her.” 

After talking to Kyle a bit more it really left you more conflicted. Tell her and more than likely loose the best thing that’s ever happened to you or leave it bottled up and keep doing what you’ve been doing. 

Of course you chicken out as usual but it’s only made you more on edge. Now that Kyle knows you’re constantly worried that she knows. And when you are Skyping with a her you two are arguing once again. It’s a day you will never forget. It was the day you should have spoken up but you just let her go. 

“Ash what are we even doing?”

“What do you mean? We’re kind of arguing like we usually do.”

“But why? You’re my best friend and lately all we do is argue and I’m never happy anymore and I don’t even know why you stick around anymore. I can’t be healthy for you. Don’t you think I’ve noticed that you aren’t happy anymore. I know because Kyle told me you called him at like 3am one night. And I fly to Germany tomorrow.” It’s now that you realize that she knows how you feel and it breaks your heart. So you do the one thing you were always good at. You break your vow and you run. 

You didn’t talk to anymore. You all but gave up on yourself. You were heart broken from a love you never had and loosing your best friend. She seemed to be doing better. She seemed more determined to make it to the Olympics and you were dying inside. It made you wonder if you even meant anything to her. And when you don’t make it because of an injury you have to watch the team play from a TV screen. You hate yourself for not getting over her because your heart hurts when you see her walk onto the pitch. And because you know you still love her you want them to do good. The team was crushing them but when you hear her scream echo through the speakers, you loose it. You see her grabbing Boxx’s hand and grabbing her knee. You’ve been there before you know it’s not good. Your heart breaks. She’ll be out for the Olympics and her dreams have been shattered once again and you know you have been childish and stupid but you know your best friend needs you now. At least you hope she will. You Ask HAO to let you know what hospital she would be at. 

You’re a wreck when you get to the hospital. You’re scared of what she’ll say but also Kyle. He’s always been there to protect his sister and to say he was pissed that you left her when she needed you was an understatement. 

When you walk into the waiting room you notice him immediately. He see’s you and about jumps from his chair and before you know it he’s in your face.

“You have no right to be here.” He shouts. His voice echoing off the walls.

“I know I don’t but, I need to be here. Look just let me see her and if she wants me to leave I’ll go. But I messed up because I was scared and I know that. I want to try to make it up to her if she would let me.” He reluctantly lets you see her.

You knock slightly on the door and you open it without thinking because you know if you did you might chicken out. She has her head in her hands when you walk in and she doesn’t look up. It wasn’t until you whisper her name that she looks up. The pain you see in her face kills you. And she’s crying again. Uncontrollably sobbing into her hands. You don’t think anymore you make your way to her side and hold her as she cries. She stays that way for a bit until she shoves you off and hitting you in the chest.

“You left me. You just left me when I needed you. After all we’ve been through after you know how hurt I was when my brother left me you just left me and never spoke to me again. And you show up like nothing happened. You don’t get to hold me. You don’t deserve to be here.” You hang your head and turn to walk away. With your hand on the door knob. You take a deep breath and you decide if you’re really going to loose her you would hate yourself if you didn’t even fight for her.

“I’m sorry. I know I fucked up and I know I shouldn’t be here. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m the worst friend and I’m sorry I could never make you happy. And I really thought that if I left, you would be better off without me.” 

“Why did you leave me?” For the first time she sounded so small and lost ind it broke your heart.

“You were asking me what we were doing and I realized I wasn’t making things better for you so I thought if I wasn’t there you would be happy. I couldn’t make you better Ali and I didn’t know what to do. It was stupid and I hate myself for it everyday.”

“But you were my best friend. I know I pushed you but, why would that convince you to leave? I needed you.” Ali was staring at you through her tears.

“You don’t know do you?” 

“I wouldn’t be asking if I knew.” She whispers out to you. You shake your head and take a deep breath. It’s all or nothing now. You either lose her without taking the risk. Or you take the leap. So for the first time in your life you jump.

“Because I’m in love with you.” You can’t take the words back now. Nothing will ever be the same from here on out. But, that’s how it was meant to be. 

“Why didn’t you say something before.” With the sound of her voice you know she wants you to look at her but, you can’t do that yet. You are crying and you don’t want her to see. “Look at me Ash.” You’ve always listened to her. So you look at her. You are surprised because you aren’t met with a face of disgust. She’s smiling and your heart reacts instantly. You can feel your blood start to pump faster through your veins.

“Why are you smiling?” You can’t help but ask. You have to know.

“Because, you idiot, I’m in love with you too.”


	2. What's Next?

You stare at her with awe. You never even dreamed of those words because the fear of having hope was too dangerous. The fear of losing everything was too much so you never imagined the beautiful Ali Krieger would feel the same way about you. But, she did say those words. Ali loved you too. You don’t know when you started moving but, you are by her side reaching for her hand. She stares at you waiting for a response. 

“You love me too?” You whisper. You say it so quiet you’re afraid she didn’t hear you. But, she did. Of course she did.

“Yes I love you. Wasn’t it obvious?” She tilts her head with a sheepish smile squeezing your hand. Her eyes are shining in the dim lit hospital room even if they were slightly puffy and red from crying. 

“You know… maybe it’s a lesbian thing but, I’d deny and dismiss every subtle hint. Even the not so subtle ones.”

“I’ll say. I couldn’t have been more obvious if I tried. I thought you just didn’t like me like that” You scoff because you have no idea what she’s talking about.

“Obvious? In what way.”

//

Flashback:

You’re not sure what prompted you to ask her but now you’re cursing yourself in your head. Stupid alcohol making me forget to keep my stupid mouth shut.

“You’re asking me why I’m single?” 

“Uhh… yes?” What the hell was that. You don’t sound so sure of yourself now Ash. You clear your throat. “I mean. Yes Ms. Krieger. I’m wondering how someone, as amazing as you, is single. Because it just doesn’t make sense.”

“What if I’m single because I’m not sure if the person I like feels the same way about me.” Her cheeks start turning red but your heart sinks. 

“Oh. So you’re interested in someone?”

“Yeah but like I said I’m not sure if they like me back.”

“Why wouldn’t they like you back? You’re like most amazing person I’ve ever met. Do I know this person?” Once again, you don’t know why are you asking these questions. You know it’ll only hurt you. But, you can’t stop yourself. It’s like poking a bruise. You know it’ll hurt but you can’t help yourself.

“I sure hope you do.” And what the hell does that mean? You ask yourself. 

“That’s not really an answer” You state not wanting to let this go. She groans. 

“Ugh I can’t tell YOU who it is. That would be too obvious.”

“But, you tell me everything why not this?”

“Because Ash. What are some reasons you don’t tell someone who you like?”

“Hmm. I don’t know. Because you don’t want them to know. You want it to be a secret.”

“Okay and why else?”

“You’re scared of how they’d react.” She motions for you to elaborate. “Like as if you know they don’t like the person you like.”

“What’s another reason why someone would react in an unpredictable way?”

“Umm I guess if you liked that person. In this case, if you liked me.”

“Yeah so…” She’s looking at you waiting for your answer. As if it was so obvious. But, you’re sure if she liked someone you’d know who it was. But you have been trying to think of who it could be and you keep drawing blanks.

“Well I don’t know Al. It could be anyone.” She lets out a heavy sigh.

“You know what. Let’s just forget about it for tonight.”

//

“Well shit. I guess you were pretty obvious.” You both laugh.

“Yeah you were giving me a lot of mixed signals.”

“I’m so sorry. I really had no idea.”

“It’s okay. That was in the past but, can you do me a favor?”

“Anything.” You give her hand a reassuring squeeze and look into her eyes.

“Kiss me” And you do.

Your lips meet hers and they’re warm. They are slightly chapped but you don’t care. It’s simple and chaste at first but, you want more. You let go of her hand to softly grab head to pull her in deeper. Your lips move slowly but a gasp escapes your lips when you feel her tongue touch you lips. You open your mouth and she gladly accepts the invitation. You aren’t sure how long the kiss was but it felt like forever. When you separate you aren’t ready to leave her space so you hold her hand again and rest your forehead against hers. Both of you still have your eyes closed while you enjoy each others presence and labored breaths. 

“What’s next?” She asks. And you open your eyes. She still has her eyes closed but, you take in everything. With all the confessions you almost forgot she was laying in a hospital bed. 

“I don’t know.” You answer. She opens her eyes and looks at you but, she doesn’t move her head. “I don’t know what the future has in store for us but, I do know that what ever happens I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

“You promise?” You smile at her causing her to smile too.

“Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the kinds comments. A few people wanted a follow up and I felt like I'd give this a proper ending. It's short but I hope you enjoyed it. :)


End file.
